Arranged Marriage...culture shock?

An arraged marriage in this day and age sounds like something that might happen in a remote third word village, but with the current rate of middle eastern immigrants, this is possible anywhere in the world, causing culture shocks, and in some countries it is illegal, because it may lead to what we consider child abuse.

I read about Samina Shah´s story (this is not her real name, as she is too scared to be identified). Her family moved to London before she was born. One day as she got dressed up for her fifth birthday party, she realized she was actually wearing her new dress for an Islamic wedding ceremony. She tells reporters “I was denied the right of childhood, play and innocence. When you are married at the age of five you no longer live like a normal child. I was deprived of my basic human rights. I know that such behavior is contrary to the teachings of Islam and must be therefore outlawed. There is no Islamic justification for forced marriage and doing it to a child of that age is not just wrong — it is criminal.”

Samina was born in a typical middle eastern family, inserted in a very close knit community, who kept their traditions from their village in Pakistan.

At he age of 37 she was able to leave her husband, she was so repressed she wasn´t even aloud to smile, because this was a sign of a loose women and flirting. Leaving her husband was a very brave thing to do, as it is unacceptable thing to do in Islamic culture. She tried to move back in with her parents, but they rejected her. She found her self living in the streets. Samina, desperate, entered a church where she knew the priest. “I was so disheartened I wanted to abandon everything I had been taught in childhood. I thought the best thing I could do was to convert. Maybe being a Christian would give me peace.” The priest told her Islam hasn't let her down, people have, so he contacted her with people from the Islam community that could help and understand her, they gave her a place to stay. She eventually rebuild her life and even made up with her family. “Islam safeguards women’s rights, and I am delighted that I found the Islam that God sent down — not the one that has been hijacked by the jackals who misrepresent its true teachings.”

There are a lot of cultures that still condone arranged marriages, but very few allow children to marry, as it is the case with Islam in general, but not particularly how it was practiced in the village her parents where from.Chile is slowly becoming a multicultural country, hosting several immigrant communities, but most of them keep to them selves and we don´t know much about them. Maybe they fear being judged.

Because of cases like Samina´s the UK government is attempting to pass a law that forbids and punishes to marry people against their will, since they can´t  prosecute for statutory rape if the minor or the family do not press charges. 

Many asian and middle eastern cultures struggle to keep their traditions in the western world. Are arranged marriages ok? Are we being judgmental and close minded, or is this a practice that we must attempt to stop? I don't think the answers is black or white, there are people that are quite happy to marry the person their family chooses, to them it´s an honor to do their parent´s will. Can east and west ever agree on this matter?

By Paulina Wall.